Life, the Youniverse, and Every Damned Thing

(NOTE: This was actually written in June of 2008, and was floating as a draft in the system as I never published it.  I do so now, for your enjoyment)

So, nowadays it seems like I just drift through my days, watching the inevitable implosion/explosion of the world around me, surfing the global shitstorm with my golden surfboard of beliefs and indignance, abject horror my reaction to the situation around me as I continue to drench every day in angst and suffering, only to sit at home each night with a smile knowing that I will never, ever be happier.

When you realize that this moment, EVERY moment is simply you in the midst of a game with YOURSELF, stretching out the choice to accept fully that YES, this is all an illusion and YES, I KNOW that and, YES, of course, no doubt at all that this moment is purely a projection of my own consciousness that is happening NOW, ONLY NOW, and is being created also NOW. In this moment, you are simultaneously fully conscious of the supreme eternal divine and COMPLETE, nature of your true identity as a conscous entity and YES, at the same FUCKING time, you are also some poor, dumb human. Some fool, some idiot. Some...employee. Or Citizen. Or Member. Believer. Follower. SEARCHER. SEEKER. Perhaps one of a contemplative nature, perhaps with SO many good questions, and yes perhaps even this small silly human is just, fucking...TIRED, of the whole silly awful thing. Perhaps.

And so you have this moment. This pure, eternal moment, that shines on forever in eternity, that is but truly the constant shine of our own golden radiance, creating this moment with its gift of hypnosis, illusion, and holographic projection. The five-sense prison. The surface reality. Flatland. 3D. This fake, hollow, imaginary, deathzone which we choose to create for ourselves, is nothing but a virtual-reality chamber for our souls, pods we have been inhabiting for quite some time.

And...can't you just remember, how GOOD it CAN be? Without the greyness of this ashen fantasy, without the addiction to drama, without the need to continually seek, seek, seek, even though SEEKING can never feel SATISFYING, by its intrinsic nature. You cannot arrive by traveling. You do not swallow by chewing. Etc.

But it can be GOOD. SO good. Good in, delicious ways. Really juicy, fun, pleasant, exciting, freeing, delightful ways. I mean, everything we take drugs to have, is but a fraction of that truly available to us by LETTING GO. Letting GO. Releasing the illusion.

And I know, right, you say you know it's an illusion, you know you're not really physical by nature, that this is a hologram. I mean, you SAW The Matrix right? It's all there, along with scary robot squids. I got it.

And I say, then WHY are you not in ecstacy right know? If you know it's an illusion. I mean, if it's an ILLUSION, right, and you KNOW that, so you're like, awake in the dream, right? You can do ANYTHING YOU WANT, because it's a real-time holodeck supreme that projects your every action into physical existence, physical in this case meaning that the basic structure or blueprint of the illusion has a rigid physics to it. You are, literally, god of this moment. So then...why are you not FREE?

And then we weep, and wonder, and sigh, and blunder, and our skin sags, and then we have pooping issues, and death. And the world slows rotation, the sun dims, we die again. The UNIVERSE WINDS DOWN because we are depressed. And we are truly only depressed because the basic nature of the illusion is to cut us off from everything we are, and so yeah we feel a little fucked up about it. I mean, consider the multi-fuck going on here: You, defined as the "you" YOU refer to when you say "I", is creating a life for ITSELF, while at another level your true consciousness continues to emerge, and so you get this feeling of being god AND Job, or whichever other poor sap chose to suffer for an invisible compadre.

I mean, at this point, haven't we done enough shit to ourselves? Haven't we just, like, exhausted the whole drama, illusion, pain suffering DUALITY bullshit fucking, whatever this is that we KEEP DOING EVERY DAY. We seek, we suffer, we find balance. Lather, rinse, repeat. Little fishes going upstream, then down, then back, then again. Why. And when you KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOD, at least A god...well then, what's the point of ambition? What are you topping? And who are you trying to be better than? The rest of God? You as one aspect of the Whole trying to compete, outdo the other parts? The hand fighting the foot? The tongue competes with the kneecap. Pointless, and boring, and so played out. Let it go, move on.

Yes, we are a bit rambly today, which is fine, as we have gone through so much change that it's almost as if there is an entire new entity using the body, which is far more accurate and fast if you let it do its own thing. Ah yes, much better! SO anyway, the whole point is that in truth we are but dreamers dreaming, and can so quickly wake up from any nightmare. And we ARE in a nightmare. To god, getting up early every day and going to an office job...IS a nightmare. Hmm, float within and throughout a flame of everlasting bliss....or collate? Expand into all creation...or do some filing? Hm? Hard choice, I know, right?

WE CAN HAVE THIS. It is OURS. WE KNOW THIS. And we WILL have it, ALL OF IT, every last fucking drop of everything we ever thought belonged to us, plus a lot of other shit we never even thought of. It will all come falling in on us, a massive flow of STUFF, of THINGS, a pure manifestation of a christmas-sacksplosion of showering presents and gifts, all of us dancing, no mess to clean up, just pure driven snow and joy and warmth and cool breezes and nothing else, nothing to scare us and CERTAINLY nothing to bore us.

We ALL live in a state of perfect bliss. The lens on the projector is CLEAR. But the film shows some disturbing images. We may need to keep an eye on this particular filmmaker, has a bent towards self-punishment. See? We are the author, writer, creator, whatever, of this moment and EVERY moment. What else could it be? How else could it work?

And what does it FEEL like? Feels RIGHT, doesn't it? Feels right. And, everything lines up. It all makes sense. Every question, Big Question, about life that has ever been asked, answers itself when you accept that we are creating all of this. What is the meaning of life? Well, if you mean this physical life, not much. It's pretty much a short-lived fantasy with karma. You only SEARCH for meaning WITHIN it because that's the nature of the illusion. That's what it DOES. Why else would you even need to know? I mean, have you ever considered how bizarre the actual "accepted" view of our reality is? That we, these brilliant and wonderful conscious entities, are just...accidents, of a biological progression? Meat-people, run by genes and hormones? I mean, I live in America, so I get how that impression is formed, but speaking for myself my internal world alone is enough to prove to me that we are SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN JUST HUMANS!!! I mean, my GOD. It is SO OBVIOUS! How can you even pretend that you are a man, or a woman, human, whatever, how can you even PRETEND that that is your basic identity. YOU ARE A HAND-PUPPET. You are simply a SPACE, for EXPRESSION. You are NOT a REAL BEING. YOU, are the manifestation of a massive consciousness, as it dips into this illusion to play in the energyies of 3D. You are not a human person with a "life". There ARE no "LIVES". There are simply spaces within which the divine soul moves its energy to feel the fun of the physical, and that is all. You are not human, you are not real, you are not anything but the expression.

And, I do not at ALL attempt to demean you. The opposite in fact, I say this so you ACCEPT, and MOVE ON. There is not more for you. All of your human fantasies have played out. All you have left is your true reality...and you know this...and, really man, I hate to be the one to tell you, but this is NOT how it works. You, are a consciousness that formed in the void left by the aspect of your TOTAL divine consciousness when it did not enter fully earlier in your life. Why is not a matter to discuss, suffice to say that as this total You comes in, EVERY aspect of the old You must depart, because it's as if you are trying to inhabit an old trusty shell, and so in clinging to its comforting smallness you also fuck up your ascending biology by suffocation. To put it clearly so the mind understands, This YOU, is NOT "YOU", the REAL you. Your full beingness did not come in earlier in life, so you filled in with other stuff, now it's coming in, and so what you filled in with can stop trying to do the job of the WHOLE being, and just relax and enjoy EVERYTHING.

Just so you know, EVERY DESIRE YOU HAVE, that feels like a wanting...is but a manifestation of your true essence. Meaning, you are holding out the satisfaction of your every desire because you are trying so damned hard to satisfy your every desire. You are clogging up the money shoot with money bags. You are blotting out the sun with magnifying glasses. You are...blocking this EFFORTLESS flow, this SO EASY-ness of all things...when you try so hard. Do not TRY, at all. Do, or do not. This means, you are truly the creator, either choose this or that, do not imagine that there are things you must try...you can do the first time. Fuck trying.

And so...yeah. The big nugget. Which is...I feel so in control of my existence, like I'm HERE...and yet...I know that's not ME. It's a fucking hologram. I mean, the body is fake. All light and magnetic fields. And the conscious perspective...please. It's a joke. It's a pinpoint, cut off from everything, alone and amnesiac. And bathed in a stream of lies and twisted bullshit from entrance to exit. Never had a chance. And again, we know this. I mean, we know this is all just a fantasy of layered bullshit. Body, bullshit. Soul, bullshit. Humanity, bullshit. Country? HUGE pile of bullshit. It's ALL BULLSHIT. And, we KNOW this...and we keep going to work. We keep trying to make money to be free. Keep trying to change people, keep trying to let our pain steer. Letting our fear and insanity make all the plans, while the best feelings inside are used as an example of foolishness.

See, I don't get to just lay around all day because everyone else is so insane they go to work, and they don't want to have to share with some unemployed guy. Meanwhile it's like, we're ALL unemployed! This is make-believe, I'm president now, give me your income tax.  Cash, grass or ass, I just gotta settle this invoice.

Alright, I shall disconnect the wordpipe for the nonce.  But seriously, since everything I've said is so true it hurts...WHY ARE YOU GOING TO WORK???

Yeah, I know you don't know.

R

Sex Smells

Penis:

Cock, dick, wang, weiner, schlong, shaft, hardon, bone, pole.

Vagina:

Pussy, twat, cunt, snatch, slit, cooch.

What the fuck? What is wrong with us?

Why is there no NEUTRAL word for the male and female genitals?

If I want to refer to these body parts, I have to either use the MEDICAL terminology, or resort to street slang. There is no in-between. And this is ONLY true of the genitals.

Take, for example, your CRANIUM.

Cranium is the scientific term.

There are other slang terms, such as melon, dome, etc.

And there is a common, NEUTRAL term: Head.

You do not say, "I hit my cranium".

Nor do you say, "I have a melonache"

Or, say, your Gluteus.

Scientific term. Slang terms are Ass, Booty, etc.

And the common, NEUTRAL term: Butt.

You do not say, "Look at that chick's gluteus!"

Nor would you tell a child to sit down on their ass.

Fingers are actually called metacarpals. The ears are actually called pinae. Your belly is called an abdomen. And so forth. All body parts have a common name, a scientific/medical term, and slang. EXCEPT the genitals.

My point?

Simple. American culture is arrested in such a stage of adolescent sexuality, that the language only contains words for genitals that are either scientific, or vulgar.

And as a result, when I talk during sex I am constantly embarrassed to find the right word.

"Oh, yeah, suck my dick"

I'm sorry, I feel stupid calling it a "dick".

I've known a lot of "Dick"s, and don't want to associate them with my own delicious experience of oral sex.

"Mmm, lick my balls"

Again, I don't want to call them balls. They are not balls. They are actually somewhat egg-shaped, which is why at least the spanish slang Huevos (eggs) makes better sense (even though I'd never use the word, as I don't find dairy sexy). Calling them balls, feels like calling your legs sticks, or calling your hair hay. It's not an actual term FOR that body part, but rather a slang term that only alludes to the part through visual comparison.

"Yeah, spread your pussy open"

I don't want to call it a pussy! No one likes the damn word! But as CUNT is the next-best alternative (unless twat is more to your liking), we all say Pussy.

I don't like that. Pussy is, phonetically, a wet messy word. That hard "PUH!" at the front, and the wet "SSSSSS!" in the middle...it's a sloppy word. It creates offense. And it's used to name a part of the body that SO doesn't want to be sloppy in any way...I really don't think anyone likes it. But hey, as it's the ONLY word, besides VAGINA, then it gets use.

Our language does not contain any term for genitals that is not either cold and scientific, or crude and vulgar. Every other body part has a common name, EXCEPT for the genitals.

And, I am NOT telling ANYONE to "Suck my penis".

Nor will I ever tell anyone what a "Tight wet vagina" they have.

It's fucking lame! And NOT sexy.

And, I can get into calling my penis a cock or a dick, and calling her vagina a cunt or a pussy, but the whole point is I shouldn't have to. There should be names for things that are the ACTUAL, COMMON name for that thing, IN ADDITION TO the various slang/scientific terms.

But American culture is still stuck in the tit-staring stage, and so for the present we have either penises and vaginas, or cocks and cunts.

Which shouldn't be surprising in a culture of such intense contradiction. A nation where it's illegal for a woman to walk down the street naked, but legal for that same woman to charge people to see her naked. A culture where a woman is called a whore for charging money for sex, and called easy if she fucks a man who HASN'T bought her anything yet. A culture which idolizes male sluts, and condemns female studs. A culture which values pornographic violence so much that they show it to children as entertainment, and yet hides sexual pornography because it's "vulgar and offensive". We live among some of the most sexually-confused people on earth, and worse they're all convinced that they are "enlightened about sex".

Oh yeah?

Then let women walk down the street topless JUST LIKE MEN GET TO.

Let all people sit nude on their front lawns, spread-legged and soaking up the sun.

Let people buy, sell, trade, advertise sex all they wish. Their genitals, their choice.

Show sex on TV. REAL sex. Penetration sex. Fluid-spurting, name-calling sex.

Currently on network TV you can show blood and brains squirting from a shattered skull,

but not semen squirting from a hard dick.

Zombies fondling entrails,

but no one fondling breasts.

Etc.

This America is a bunch of hypocritical, prudish perverts.

They hide something just so they can be titillated by revealing it.

I bet there're not a lot of strip clubs in Kenya, huh?

Alright. I've said my piece for now.

But just know, a day will dawn in this land,

Where we shall all be naked and free,

fucking and sucking and dancing and singing,

All Day Long.

And we will have proper names for our genitals,

and nudity will be the norm, clothing for decoration or utility.

And perversion will cease to be, rape, molestation will all but vanish.

Once sex is no longer hidden, left to rot in the dark,

it shall flourish in full daylight, releasing its sicknesses and becoming Whole.

Massive orgies will take place regularly. Sex will be an open, shameless experience of sensual exploration, intimacy, and excitement. Venereal disease will evaporate, as the negative beliefs that spawned such sexual imbalance are released, such sad relics of a dark past. Sex will BECOME the new form of social interaction.

And if you can't get laid THEN,

well, brother, I don't know what to tell you.

 

R

Evasive-Revisionist-Asshole-American

African-American.

BULLSHIT.

Calling black people "African-American" is the ultimate in PC bullshit mind-control whitewashing.

As if it meant the same thing as Mexican-American, or Japanese-American.

As if they are just immigrants from Africa, come to the New World to chase the American Dream.

BULLSHIT!!!

First, they were AFRICANS.

Then, they were KIDNAPPED.

Then, they were CARGO.

Then, they were ENSLAVED BY AMERICANS.

They were used as the labor foundation for the Colonies.

(Free labor creates QUITE a spike in prosperity, don't you know.)

America FED off of the BLOOD of these poor enslaved people, for generations.

Then, eventually, way too late (which seems to be the American Style), people started to wise up a bit, decided maybe enslaving an entire race was kinda, uh, UN-AMERICAN.

And then the slaves were "freed", meaning they were released from literal bondage and delivered into cultural bondage.

And as there was no fleet of ships ready to whisk them back to THEIR OWN DISTANT CONTINENT, these ex-slaves had to put down roots in the very same land where their families had been tortured and murdered.

Generations later, due to the incredibly strong spirits of these African people, and in spite of the culture of repression held in place by the majority of Americans, these ex-slaves had finally risen to a place of true autonomy, economic independence (in a relative sense), true Freedom, insofar as freedom ever exists in America.

The American culture finally decided to embrace these people, these "black" people, as equals.

(Seems to me that if you can succeed as a race among an alien culture that does all it can to ruin you, then you are actually BETTER, not equal, but whatever, right?)

And so, as they had in past years jettisoned the obviously-offensive slang terms for ex-slaves (darky, boy, jigaboo, pickaninny, spade, nigger, etc.), Americans tried new, Progressive terms such as Negro, or Afro-Americans (which was a confusing term, as does the Jewfro qualify one as Afro-?). And the ex-slaves felt offended by these as well. So then "Black" seemed to the term to use, and worked fine for many years, until in their INTENSE compassion and racial sensitivity the PR branch of American culture decided to create a NEW, FINAL, and PERFECT abuse-free term for these descendants of African slaves:

African-American.

And once again, American culture drops a steaming turd.

African-American?

This term is a term of revisionist history, meant to absolve all white guilt related to black enslavement.

To call them African-Americans is to imply that their people chose to come to this country, that they came as free people, and were treated as equals.

To call them African-American implies that their African culture was valued, rather than beaten out of them.

Implies that they were ever considered Americans, even though they had the rights of livestock.

It ignores slavery. Ignores that the wealth of this nation was built on slavery.

Ignores that their entire relationship with America is one of enduring horrific uninvited abuse.

These Africans were kidnapped, tortured and murdered, treated as dangerous dumb animals, worked to death, bred like livestock, kept from any education, and finally set loose in the wild American frontier with no lifeskills, amidst an entrenched culture of discrimination and outright hostility.

They are NOT African-Americans. Not at all. You know who is?

Charlize Theron. Born in South Africa, emigrated to the U.S.

These descendants of slaves, are neither African OR American.

Their African culture was whipped out of them, and American culture never attempted to include them.

They are, Black People.

Why do I say this?

Because it's a simple slang term that refers to them by basic appearance (like you would refer to me as "That guy with the long curly hair and muttonchops"). And it seems to be the way they refer to themselves, which to me is a good indicator of what to call someone.

Like, if I know a guy who refers to himself as Mike, well shit, I'll call him Mike too.

Like calling Caucasians "White People". A simple slang term, that is only offensive if you WANT to take offense; there's no abuse in the term itself.

I know black people aren't actually black, and whites ain't white (except the English).

We COULD go with Brown people and Pinkish-Beige people...but that's just confusing and too wordy.

Or we could call them Kidnapped Africans Who Were Enslaved And Then Were Later Freed And Recognized As Human But Still Discriminated Against For Decades Until Finally Culture Evolved Enough That Bigots Were In The Minority And They Were Treated Mostly As Equals Even Though The Past Was Never Addressed...but again, wordy as fuck.

Really, it's not about the term. It's about being honest with ourselves. And calling these amazingly strong people, this entire race that managed to survive hundreds of years of abuse and repression, terror, debasement, everything, calling them African-Americans...just seems a little too easy on the White conscience. Like they just came over for the Freedom Fries, and stayed for the chunky white women.

I don't say African American. It's a PR term, invented by whites to whitewash white guilt. And worst of all, it's supposed to be used to HONOR black people, as a nonoffensive label they should be proud of. Because of all this, I never use the term African-American.

Also, I don't really know any black people.

 

R

Sounds SO familiar...

We have no interest in oppressing other people. We are not moved by hatred against any other nation. We bear no grudge. I know how grave a thing war is. I wanted to spare our people such an evil. It is not so much the country of Czechoslovakia; it is rather its leader, Edward Benes. He has led a reign of terror. He has hurled countless people into the profoundest misery. Through his continuous terrorism, he has succeeded in reducing millions of his people to silence. The Czech maintenance of a tremendous military arsenal can only be regarded as a focus of danger. We have displayed a truly unexampled patience, but I am no longer willing to remain inactive while this madman ill-treats millions of human beings."

- Adolf Hitler, April 14th, 1939

Brains!!!!

There’s something you’ve always wanted to do.

And you don’t do it.

Some way you’ve always wanted to feel.

And you’ve never felt it.

Someone you want to be.

That you never are.

Dreams, desires, wishes, passions,

All laying dead in the dust.

Never used.

We come into this life filled with passion, desire, hope and excitement.

This unbridled flow fills our young bodies with light and sensation.

We have endless energy, heal instantly, always smile, always want to dance and play.

We have optimism around everything we see (which causes adults to label us as Young-Minded). We truly believe that what we desire, shall belong to us.

And then.

A wall of limits slams into us. We are drowned in a sea of unanswered prayers. All that we know that we are and all that we feel that we can be, is lost in the flood of grey hopelessness, the sign of our giving up our desires in order to “be realistic”.

We shut down. We shrink. We harden, and darken. This, we call “Growing Up”.

Our bodies start to stiffen and weaken. We become tired. We age, we get sick, we get hurt and heal oh so slowly. We think back to the golden light of our childhood, and chuckle at our foolish dreams of happiness and fulfillment. Child’s dreams.

In gaining our adulthood, we turn our backs on everything that made us golden, made us beautiful. We accept the lie that we can’t have everything we want, we embed this poisoned program into our hearts, and let our life cease growing, but rather go to seed and decay. And we feel satisfied, that we are no longer trying to live out some fantasy, but rather are now in the “Real World”.

Bullshit.

The “Real World” is a massive hallucination, created when millions of conscious beings all align their hearts with a false Truth. The flow through our hearts projects the poison program as a 3D illusion, one which surrounds and encases us. A dingy, gray cloak of limitation and lost hope, secured to us by the acceptance that we were being Unrealistic, to actually believe that we were on Earth to have joy and freedom, to express our golden truths, to bathe in the glow of the radiance of perfection that we all carry within us.

And because everyone is telling the same lie with each breath, the Lie becomes the Truth that surrounds us. We accept it AS our reality. And so, when the child comes to us, with the beaming clear eyes and the springy soft body, we explain to this young soul that endless hope is unrealistic, that you can’t always get what you want, that suffering builds character and that hard work is the answer to any problem.

The child walks away, confused, its energy dimming, its heart closing. In a few years, that child will be perfect for the Real World. Hard worker, committed to its job, real reliable and trustworthy. A Good Citizen.

We have helped this child kill itself, and worse it doesn’t know it’s dead, and keeps walking.

Our offices are staffed with the walking dead.

A cubicle is just a casket with Internet access.

And our culture is a fungus.

Hey! How about this?

When a child shows you their light,

Let it illuminate YOU!

When someone’s joy seems unrealistic,

accept that you are the Walking Dead.

That feeling you came in with, no matter how early on it was extinguished,

Stills lies at the center of you.

It is the small glow

That waits to be fanned into flame

By your breath.

It sits within you,

Waiting to be allowed out to play.

And when you finally set it free,

It will know instantly the lie you have lived,

The joy you have sold to a system that has no use for it.

And it will tell you, that it knew the WHOLE TIME that you were just afraid.

Afraid to live what you ARE.

Afraid to be what you ARE.

Afraid, simply afraid,

That you are so grand and beautiful,

That once they get a look at you,

They’ll tear you to pieces.

Because the Walking Dead know they sold their souls.

It hurts them to remember.

And when they see your golden soul unfurled and radiating,

They are forced to feel.

And what they feel is worse than pain;

It’s the space where pain would be,

If they still knew how to feel.

You are ready. It is time.

There ARE NO MORE EXCUSES.

So, what will it be?

The Walking Dead?

Or the Dance of Life?

Hmmm…..

 

R