Quote of the Day

"The more complex the philosophy,


the greater the Lie it conceals"








R

Pray in one hand, shit in the other..a-HA, but I prayed for a handful of SHIT!

CHRISTIANS!!!

I have a complaint.

See, there is Cosmic Will,

A sort of Unified, Magnetic Field of Consciousness

that flows through and around all things.

(You know, the Force.)

Well, this Force IS the Universal Intelligence.

Or, as you people like to call it, "God".

Now, I understand that you Christians don't really TRUST this God.

Which is why you are CONSTANTLY trying to influence It.

This Perfect, Unified Flow which manifests an agenda of PERFECTION,

in every space it flows.

It's not good enough for you.

You won't just LET GOD HAPPEN.

Instead, YOU decide that what GOD wants for ALL

is just not good enough for YOU.

So, you PRAY.

PRAY.

You gather in groups, link up energies,

and try to BEND THE WILL OF THE UNIVERSE TO YOUR OWN DESIGNS.

And then the world is full of chaos, and you wonder WHY.

Hmm.

You pray for a resolution of conflicts worldwide.

Now, how are these social imbalances going to find their own resolution,

when you bend the Will of the All to KEEP people from fighting?

Sometimes, fighting is the only way for two groups to truly engage each other.

You need not understand it (though I bet you DO understand, all too well).

You need only to ACCEPT that THEY are doing what is BEST for THEM.

And FORGIVE them.

NOT for what they are doing (which requires NO forgiveness from ANYone),

but FROM YOUR OWN SHALLOW NEEDS.

Forgive them of the burden of evolving in a form that YOU will understand,

and rather, FREE them to continue working out their own business their own way.

Or, you pray for a certain political candidate to win election.

Hmm. So, democracy is just TOO FAIR for you?

You need to use prayer,

to sway the will of the People,

towards the WANTS of your team.

Hmm.

You Christians, who would outwardly condemn

ANY attempt by ANY group

to use their power of influence

to get THEIR needs met OVER the needs of others,

You who claim to care SO MUCH for EVERYONE,

have a philosophy based in the use of TELEPATHIC TERRORISM.

If you TRULY ACCEPT the PERFECTION of the OVERSOUL,

this infinite web of loving awareness,

that ever-so-gently guides the motion

of dust and democracies,

a floating eyelash or a bloated empire,

and all in the middle,

if you TRULY ACCEPT THAT YOUR GOD IS PERFECTION,

then put your manna where your mouth is,

AND STOP PRAYING.

(I mean it, cut it out, I can HEAR it late at night)

 

R

Shallow for a change

Okay...

Normally I task myself with creating something profound(-ish) here, keeping my more shallow thoughts and assertions to myself and whomever I happen to be smoking weed with.

But this just won't go away.

See, Kirstie Alley is now a spokesperson for Weight Watchers.

She is shown in a number of commercials now,

displaying her newly-slenderish physique

as photo proof that this Weight Watchers thing

actually works.

But...

SHE HAS A DIGITAL CHIN!!!!!

There, I said it. In the commercials, CGI has been used to add a shadow which outlines her chin. That is, CREATES for her a chin.

Without the digital shadow, she would look like a talking thumb.

If you doubt, check out the next commercial you see. Digital chin in effect.

Now, it is not so that this is AT ALL my first experience with deceptive advertising practices.

I am not even bothered by this merely "on principle".

No. What I see, is a woman on TV, flaunting her reduced figure as THE selling point for some system of prepackaged meals. And her chin is a special effect. AND NO ONE SEEMS TO NOTICE!!!

This makes me freeze in wonder. That I live among these people, who do not see what they look at, and in other places see what was never there.

And they ALL voted yesterday.

Me, I cast but one vote yesterday. Not by ballot, but by action.

I voted "Hell Yes" on smoking a fat bowl.

And guess what? I made sure my vote was counted (by me).

Perhaps they'll count yours at some point, too.

Remember folks, if they REALLY wanted us ALL to vote,

they'd do it on a Saturday.

 

R

All You Need Is Love (but the weed helps)

Ah, True Love.

Magnificent. Perfect.

But...

Well, it's the whole monogamy thing.

See, your True Love is like your hometown.

It is very familiar,

comforting.

Your fondest memories come from it.

It is Home, the best place for you,

where you can be happier than any other place.

Its loving influence made you what you are today.

It is so familiar, you can tell by the color of the sky

what the weather will bring that night.

You know things about it no casual visitor knows,

the secret places that hold special gifts

only for you.

It is Beautiful, it is Perfect, it is Home,

and there is no other place

where you will ever feel so Whole.

But...

You see other places on TV.

Exotic, new places.

With tastes and smells

you've never experienced.

New sights, new experiences,

calling, inviting...

But...

You know that if you VISIT one of these places,

you can never come Home again.

Shit. Guess I'm Home.

(hey, put on the Travel Channel again...)

R

"...so tell me, where will the children Jihad?"

Overheard in an office, in a large biotech company, staffed by educated professionals:

"What?!? I didn't know Cat Stevens was a terrorist!"

That's why voting doesn't work, see? Because ANYONE can do it.

R