Life, the Youniverse, and Every Damned Thing

(NOTE: This was actually written in June of 2008, and was floating as a draft in the system as I never published it.  I do so now, for your enjoyment)

So, nowadays it seems like I just drift through my days, watching the inevitable implosion/explosion of the world around me, surfing the global shitstorm with my golden surfboard of beliefs and indignance, abject horror my reaction to the situation around me as I continue to drench every day in angst and suffering, only to sit at home each night with a smile knowing that I will never, ever be happier.

When you realize that this moment, EVERY moment is simply you in the midst of a game with YOURSELF, stretching out the choice to accept fully that YES, this is all an illusion and YES, I KNOW that and, YES, of course, no doubt at all that this moment is purely a projection of my own consciousness that is happening NOW, ONLY NOW, and is being created also NOW. In this moment, you are simultaneously fully conscious of the supreme eternal divine and COMPLETE, nature of your true identity as a conscous entity and YES, at the same FUCKING time, you are also some poor, dumb human. Some fool, some idiot. Some...employee. Or Citizen. Or Member. Believer. Follower. SEARCHER. SEEKER. Perhaps one of a contemplative nature, perhaps with SO many good questions, and yes perhaps even this small silly human is just, fucking...TIRED, of the whole silly awful thing. Perhaps.

And so you have this moment. This pure, eternal moment, that shines on forever in eternity, that is but truly the constant shine of our own golden radiance, creating this moment with its gift of hypnosis, illusion, and holographic projection. The five-sense prison. The surface reality. Flatland. 3D. This fake, hollow, imaginary, deathzone which we choose to create for ourselves, is nothing but a virtual-reality chamber for our souls, pods we have been inhabiting for quite some time.

And...can't you just remember, how GOOD it CAN be? Without the greyness of this ashen fantasy, without the addiction to drama, without the need to continually seek, seek, seek, even though SEEKING can never feel SATISFYING, by its intrinsic nature. You cannot arrive by traveling. You do not swallow by chewing. Etc.

But it can be GOOD. SO good. Good in, delicious ways. Really juicy, fun, pleasant, exciting, freeing, delightful ways. I mean, everything we take drugs to have, is but a fraction of that truly available to us by LETTING GO. Letting GO. Releasing the illusion.

And I know, right, you say you know it's an illusion, you know you're not really physical by nature, that this is a hologram. I mean, you SAW The Matrix right? It's all there, along with scary robot squids. I got it.

And I say, then WHY are you not in ecstacy right know? If you know it's an illusion. I mean, if it's an ILLUSION, right, and you KNOW that, so you're like, awake in the dream, right? You can do ANYTHING YOU WANT, because it's a real-time holodeck supreme that projects your every action into physical existence, physical in this case meaning that the basic structure or blueprint of the illusion has a rigid physics to it. You are, literally, god of this moment. So then...why are you not FREE?

And then we weep, and wonder, and sigh, and blunder, and our skin sags, and then we have pooping issues, and death. And the world slows rotation, the sun dims, we die again. The UNIVERSE WINDS DOWN because we are depressed. And we are truly only depressed because the basic nature of the illusion is to cut us off from everything we are, and so yeah we feel a little fucked up about it. I mean, consider the multi-fuck going on here: You, defined as the "you" YOU refer to when you say "I", is creating a life for ITSELF, while at another level your true consciousness continues to emerge, and so you get this feeling of being god AND Job, or whichever other poor sap chose to suffer for an invisible compadre.

I mean, at this point, haven't we done enough shit to ourselves? Haven't we just, like, exhausted the whole drama, illusion, pain suffering DUALITY bullshit fucking, whatever this is that we KEEP DOING EVERY DAY. We seek, we suffer, we find balance. Lather, rinse, repeat. Little fishes going upstream, then down, then back, then again. Why. And when you KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOD, at least A god...well then, what's the point of ambition? What are you topping? And who are you trying to be better than? The rest of God? You as one aspect of the Whole trying to compete, outdo the other parts? The hand fighting the foot? The tongue competes with the kneecap. Pointless, and boring, and so played out. Let it go, move on.

Yes, we are a bit rambly today, which is fine, as we have gone through so much change that it's almost as if there is an entire new entity using the body, which is far more accurate and fast if you let it do its own thing. Ah yes, much better! SO anyway, the whole point is that in truth we are but dreamers dreaming, and can so quickly wake up from any nightmare. And we ARE in a nightmare. To god, getting up early every day and going to an office job...IS a nightmare. Hmm, float within and throughout a flame of everlasting bliss....or collate? Expand into all creation...or do some filing? Hm? Hard choice, I know, right?

WE CAN HAVE THIS. It is OURS. WE KNOW THIS. And we WILL have it, ALL OF IT, every last fucking drop of everything we ever thought belonged to us, plus a lot of other shit we never even thought of. It will all come falling in on us, a massive flow of STUFF, of THINGS, a pure manifestation of a christmas-sacksplosion of showering presents and gifts, all of us dancing, no mess to clean up, just pure driven snow and joy and warmth and cool breezes and nothing else, nothing to scare us and CERTAINLY nothing to bore us.

We ALL live in a state of perfect bliss. The lens on the projector is CLEAR. But the film shows some disturbing images. We may need to keep an eye on this particular filmmaker, has a bent towards self-punishment. See? We are the author, writer, creator, whatever, of this moment and EVERY moment. What else could it be? How else could it work?

And what does it FEEL like? Feels RIGHT, doesn't it? Feels right. And, everything lines up. It all makes sense. Every question, Big Question, about life that has ever been asked, answers itself when you accept that we are creating all of this. What is the meaning of life? Well, if you mean this physical life, not much. It's pretty much a short-lived fantasy with karma. You only SEARCH for meaning WITHIN it because that's the nature of the illusion. That's what it DOES. Why else would you even need to know? I mean, have you ever considered how bizarre the actual "accepted" view of our reality is? That we, these brilliant and wonderful conscious entities, are just...accidents, of a biological progression? Meat-people, run by genes and hormones? I mean, I live in America, so I get how that impression is formed, but speaking for myself my internal world alone is enough to prove to me that we are SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN JUST HUMANS!!! I mean, my GOD. It is SO OBVIOUS! How can you even pretend that you are a man, or a woman, human, whatever, how can you even PRETEND that that is your basic identity. YOU ARE A HAND-PUPPET. You are simply a SPACE, for EXPRESSION. You are NOT a REAL BEING. YOU, are the manifestation of a massive consciousness, as it dips into this illusion to play in the energyies of 3D. You are not a human person with a "life". There ARE no "LIVES". There are simply spaces within which the divine soul moves its energy to feel the fun of the physical, and that is all. You are not human, you are not real, you are not anything but the expression.

And, I do not at ALL attempt to demean you. The opposite in fact, I say this so you ACCEPT, and MOVE ON. There is not more for you. All of your human fantasies have played out. All you have left is your true reality...and you know this...and, really man, I hate to be the one to tell you, but this is NOT how it works. You, are a consciousness that formed in the void left by the aspect of your TOTAL divine consciousness when it did not enter fully earlier in your life. Why is not a matter to discuss, suffice to say that as this total You comes in, EVERY aspect of the old You must depart, because it's as if you are trying to inhabit an old trusty shell, and so in clinging to its comforting smallness you also fuck up your ascending biology by suffocation. To put it clearly so the mind understands, This YOU, is NOT "YOU", the REAL you. Your full beingness did not come in earlier in life, so you filled in with other stuff, now it's coming in, and so what you filled in with can stop trying to do the job of the WHOLE being, and just relax and enjoy EVERYTHING.

Just so you know, EVERY DESIRE YOU HAVE, that feels like a wanting...is but a manifestation of your true essence. Meaning, you are holding out the satisfaction of your every desire because you are trying so damned hard to satisfy your every desire. You are clogging up the money shoot with money bags. You are blotting out the sun with magnifying glasses. You are...blocking this EFFORTLESS flow, this SO EASY-ness of all things...when you try so hard. Do not TRY, at all. Do, or do not. This means, you are truly the creator, either choose this or that, do not imagine that there are things you must try...you can do the first time. Fuck trying.

And so...yeah. The big nugget. Which is...I feel so in control of my existence, like I'm HERE...and yet...I know that's not ME. It's a fucking hologram. I mean, the body is fake. All light and magnetic fields. And the conscious perspective...please. It's a joke. It's a pinpoint, cut off from everything, alone and amnesiac. And bathed in a stream of lies and twisted bullshit from entrance to exit. Never had a chance. And again, we know this. I mean, we know this is all just a fantasy of layered bullshit. Body, bullshit. Soul, bullshit. Humanity, bullshit. Country? HUGE pile of bullshit. It's ALL BULLSHIT. And, we KNOW this...and we keep going to work. We keep trying to make money to be free. Keep trying to change people, keep trying to let our pain steer. Letting our fear and insanity make all the plans, while the best feelings inside are used as an example of foolishness.

See, I don't get to just lay around all day because everyone else is so insane they go to work, and they don't want to have to share with some unemployed guy. Meanwhile it's like, we're ALL unemployed! This is make-believe, I'm president now, give me your income tax.  Cash, grass or ass, I just gotta settle this invoice.

Alright, I shall disconnect the wordpipe for the nonce.  But seriously, since everything I've said is so true it hurts...WHY ARE YOU GOING TO WORK???

Yeah, I know you don't know.

R